Crime

Karma’s a bitch and I’m getting my stuff pinched by a vegan.

Vegan food, some of it.

I assume this is in reference to an article I wrote criticizing the vegan pip-dream of moving a fully-vegan economy. I felt my critique of the highly-unrealistic idea of making everyone in the West (at least, I assume) transition to veganism in order to ‘save the planet’ and live a more moral existence was a fairly sympathetic one. Clearly I was mistaken.

Now, karma, or the special vegan karma reserved exclusively for vegans and which is better than anyone else’s form of karma has conspired to send one of its vegan emissaries into my room on a psychiatric ward and steal tobacco from it. I can’t think what I’ve done except write that article for which vegan karma holds me in such low esteem.

The vegan, let’s call him Rick, probably has a host of other psychological problems apart from a mere lack of a nicotine hit, but can’t he figure out the trick known to all homeless people (myself included) of using the discarded fag ends left on the street as a source of tobacco. I’m now, fortunately, in a position where I no longer need to do that, perhaps he thinks that doing so is beneath him.

Perhaps it’s the veganism itself and this has somehow altered his mind into believing that he’s more moral than the rest of us, and as such vegan karma will cut him some slack by mere dint of being vegan. All this may sound a bit harsh, and I don’t really have anything in particular against vegans, but I have something against moralizers, people who like to think they’re better than others for some reason, such as refusing to consume animal produce.

I find veganism all the more annoying because it’s moral stance amounts to a mere boycott, and a protest. There is nothing within the vegan movement that leads to any proactive outcomes for, for example, male dairy calves who will end up getting slaughtered. I think in this case more is probably being done by farmers — so far as the animal rights activism is concerned — than vegan activists waving placards. The tobacco incident served only to rile me and irritate me enough to write this article, but as far as Rick is concerned I have made a plan of revenge.

Since the vegan pilfered my tobacco they gave me a key to my door on the ward. Now I leave an empty pouch of tobacco in full view of the window in the locked door. It’s petty but I hope the sight of that tobacco torments the vegan’s soul, I know it would do so to mine. But this is mostly in jest, and I know most vegans don’t attempt to foist their opinions on others, just a few from the activist community. I even invited one of these people to debate me on the internet, he calls himself The Vegan Activist, but I received no reply, out of cowardice I assume. But that’s enough of the pettiness for one day, I hope you enjoyed reading this.

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