What I have always wondered when thinking about something is whether I have overthought it already. I call it a crime because it robs you of time and confidence.
I remember back when I was in my early 20s, I did so much in single day, a single week, a single year that sometimes when I think about it now, I cannot comprehend why or how I managed to do all that and that too effectively. I then started a side-hustle while going to university, made some money off it, so much so that I completely funded myself to starting a business straight after university and eventually did a 70–80x in revenue before effectively running it into the ground. I had the heart of a lion but maybe not the cunningness of a jackal.
I had that courage, that belief in myself, that confidence to challenge the world at anything and absolutely everything that I had an interest in. Fast-forward 6 months; I invested whatever I had into another business. A disaster. Ran it into the ground in 6 months. Went into debt. Went back to working a day job, returned the debt within 6 months. No harm done to my ego though. Any harm done to my confidence? I was about to find out.
I feel that I might have lost some of that confidence, that animal instinct of mine in the years that have passed. They say that around the age of 35, your mind rewires itself to prepare you for maturity. In my case, has that programming caused me to lose some of that Superman confidence?
In the past few months however, I have managed to get myself together. I have managed to stabilize the inner me. I have managed to start instilling in me the very fact that what I have believed in all my life remains the mission for my existence in this world. It is the same driving force pushing me to think every night before I go to sleep. It is the force, which pushes me to do greater things sooner the later.
Yes, I feel a bit selfish sometimes. I do crave fame. I do want to look good in front of a camera and honestly speaking, I think I do look good and speak eloquently although I need to brush up a bit on my front-of-camera confidence; but that is fine as long as I keep doing what I need and should do.
I need to feel that adrenaline rush pushing me to do things that I have dreamt of since I was a child. I was a daydreamer and I loved the fact that I could do it the whole day and then repeat it again the next. That was what helped me envision the world that I wanted to create for myself. It was a world where the real me meets the envisioned me. I had perfected a skill. That was of course before I bought my first smartphone. The smartphone took away my boredom, which limited my capability to daydream, to see ahead of myself.
I am slowly beginning to find my feet and move on to achieve the vision, which I have always envisioned. I have gotten the courage to touch my cash savings and invested a good chunk of then into an upcoming technology. If everything goes according to plan, this should benefit my in the long run. Ask me in 5 years.
I am slowly yet steadily bracing myself for what I plan to do ahead in this next phase of life. I feel this time; it is going to be calculated, brutally organized and a lot faster than it would have been if I had not spent the last 5 years doing what I do.
I want to feed the world. I want to become richer than anybody in my family ever has. I want to make institutions change the way they teach students about wealth management. I want to make sure that the younger lot of my generation knows that if it’s money that makes the world go round, get it and get lots of it.
Again, am I overthinking it already? I hope not. This blog post will contain errors, will not be perfect, is only spell-checked over MS Word, not structured nor edited and the only reason why it is the way it is because I did not want to overthink it. I just wanted to go out there and do it, post it and share it so that I can say that after a long time, I have not overthought it already.